Fa la la la BOO

In the past week we have all pretty much been hit over the head with the fact that there are about 60 days until Christmas. The stores are already in the process of discounting the Halloween items, skipping over Thanksgiving altogether and getting us ready to don our gay apparel. I am not prepared to forfeit two fantastic holidays to get a jump on the holiday shopping rush. I would rather make a shopping list for Thanksgiving dinner than make a Black Friday holiday gift list. I want to eat cranberries before I have to string them. I still have my summer clothes crowding my drawers with nary a sweater in sight and even though it snowed today I have on a tee shirt and flip flops…..and the heat! My candles, yes the ones that I don’t ever really light, are scented Bahama Breeze and Sandy Beach not Cranberry Mist or Mistletoe Madness. My mail, now inundated with catalogues all offering a percentage off if I “ACT NOW” and then a not so subtle reminder that Christmas is around the corner! They offer me layaways. They offer me buy now, pay later. They offer me six months interest free. What they don’t offer is to wait until my giblets are cooked and my wishbone snapped. The first holiday scented Glade commercials have begun to air and Toys R Us officially has more air time than Michael Jordan. I have always loved my DVR but not as much as now when I can zip past any commercial that has someone or something in a Santa hat.

The front of my house looks like a cemetery…tombstones, skeletons, spider webs. There are pumpkins and purple and orange lights. I am just not ready to box up the bones and unpack the wreaths. My bowls are filled with candy corn not candy canes and I have no desire for the smell of pine other than from a spray bottle in my bathroom. I have ceramic turkeys waiting to replace the smiling ghosts on my dining room table and a chocolate cornucopia that my husband bought last year that no one ate. Not even the denizens of the attic….so it will adorn the table and all will be warned not to look…..not eat!  There is no room yet for Mr. and Mrs. Claus, the Lenox snowman or the jelly bean pooping reindeer. My nails are pumpkin orange with white webs and a spider that took waaaay too long to paint on…..I therefore expect them to last through Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukah, Kwanzaa.…and yes then I will re-polish them red with green spiderwebs wreaths for Christmas. 

I have pumpkin spice, harvest blend and steaming cider in my coffee carousel and since the pods cost more than Starbuck's stock I will finish these before I buy ginger cookie, egg nog latte or nutmeg blend.  Or I will just buy Maxwell House, make a 12 cup pot and save a fortune!  Merry Christmas!