the GIB 60

My husband was on born on Valentine’s Day. It has always made it easy to buy a card for him since they have “On Your Valentine Birthday” cards at Walgreens. One card, two occasions….works for me! This year though he turned 60. Yup the big 60 (Just in case you were wondering, he robbed the proverbial cradle when he snagged me) and Walgreens had nothing to offer this year. No Valentine Birthday cards….no Happy 60th to my Valentine….just individual cards for individual holidays. I will have to buy two. I only say this because after 35 years of marriage, and a total of 40 years as a couple it has become increasingly hard to find a pre-printed card with the exact sentiment. To My Sweetheart…You Light Up My Life! Um…no! To The Man I Married…My Hero! Um…not so much! To My Darling Husband….ok forget this. Can’t they make cards that really express the way some couples feel about each other? Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, If you weren’t so deaf, I would still talk to you! Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, Why the hell can’t you stay on your side of the bed? I found instead, a card that had hearts and kisses on it (works for the valentine theme) and said Happy Birthday. No Six Zero, no over the top sappy I love you’s, and no poetry. .Just a beautiful red and white card. I signed my name under the word Love and made little x’s and o’s underneath. That is as sappy as I can manage these days.

We went upstate which is what he wanted to do for his birthday. The man has an abnormal desire to see third rate comedians and singers which seem to head the entertainment list at the hotel. It is what we did last year as well except last year he wasn’t forced to wear a light up pin that said Oh No I’m 60! My daughter and her family were already there so we decided to have a birthday dinner in the hotel dining room especially since they had a Valentine menu. Last year they offered heart shaped ravioli’s but ran out by the time our meals came…oh well. This year they didn’t even try…it was round all the way!

My grandsons nixed everything on the set menu, but Jose (our bus boy) and Angel (our waiter) convinced them that they could have chicken fingers and pizza. Or as they put it….cheeeckin feeengers and cheeeeese pisa. I translated, the boys ordered. My daughter had the lobster tails which my husband pointed out were rock lobsters and since I don’t eat lobster I had no idea what the difference was. Or cared. By all accounts they were delicious. My husband, son in law and myself all opted for the Rib Eye Steak Au Jus (steak and gravy if you got it at Denny‘s) all cooked to different done-nesses. (ok you figure out the work that goes there) Two out of three were delicious and done to perfection…guess who got the third. Oh well I was saving room for dessert anyway. The dessert that I wasn’t going to have since I have signed on as a practicing diabetic recently. Jose brought the dessert menu. (or was it Angel?) Everything had a heart or valentine related theme…red velvet cake which my grandson pointed out was more pink than red, a pear tiramisu (which I chose because I reasoned out that a pear is a fruit and a fruit is healthy and I ignored the fact that there were probably 1300 calories in the pear sauce, whipped cream and oh yeah, the tiramisu and quickly instructed my husband what to do if I slipped into a diabetic coma), and there was a heart shaped chocolate cake which fit well into our surprise. Birthday candles stuck on a teeny tiny cake. The candles said…Oh No It’s the Big 60! in individual letters. Quite a feat for such a little cake, but Jose assured us he could do it. No problemo! Ummm not so much! The ‘Oh No’ came back….wouldn’t fit. OK the rest works just as well. We watched as Jose walked back and forth frantically with the little cake in the little dish with all the candles. In the kitchen, out of the kitchen, over to the maitre de, back in the kitchen…. all the while my husband is watching his frantic movements in the wall length mirror. He said nothing. (good man) Jose could not find a lighter. Or a match. Or apparently flint.

The small chocolate heart shaped cake ablaze with candles finally came out and Jose put it in front of my husband as we all sang Happy Birthday, some of us louder than others as my husband’s 60th pin blinked on and off. He tried to read the candles before blowing them out…it said IT’S THE GIB 60.…yup, GIB not BIG. Get the camera! We laughed, we sang, he blew and we ate! I consumed the greater part of the pear dessert and did not go into a coma, so I finished it. Happy Birthday Valentine!