Morgan and me

Some time ago I made a bucket list. A bucket list for those of you who‘ve never heard of one, is a list of things you want to do or accomplish before you die. Before you ‘kick the bucket’. I put things on there that were easily attainable, just so that I didn’t feel like a total failure on my death bed as I reviewed the list and fell miserably short of the accomplishments I had aspired to. I also put things on that list that I know will never come to pass….like climbing the stairs at the Parthenon ruins in Greece. Since I have trouble navigating the nine steps to my front door, that one will probably not have a check mark next to it. The most achievable ones I put first. The harder ones further down, and the ones that quite frankly ain’t gonna happen are last. Again I figured, struggling to read my list as I drooled my last drool….I would be dead by the time I reached the bottom of the list and never realize I missed a few.

 

Some people have New Year resolutions…promises that they will do something to better themselves, their lives or the lives of someone else. My list is totally self serving. It is stuff I want to do, because I want to do it. For me. Only me. Selfish. Nice resolution I have…to be more selfish in 2011.

The obvious ones made the list too, in no particular order. Lose a ton of weight. (…almost literally) I also want to write a book, play the piano, patent something, and skydive. (pity the poor instructor who will be strapped to me as we hurl towards earth) I want tickets for Saturday Night Live, see Venice before it sinks or the rats take over the entire city, share a song with Barry Manilow, a beer with Stephen King and a bed with Keifer Sutherland (in Jack Bauer mode). I want to buy something from an auction house like Sotheby’s or Christie’s, learn to do yoga correctly (without serious injury to myself or others), and I want to donate a million dollars to a deserving charity, which of course is preceded by…I want to win the lottery! Somewhere on the list is the need to learn to dance, the basics….the cha cha, samba, merengue and maybe even the hula. (god knows I’ve got the hips for it) I want to go skiing or at least find a pair of ski boots that will fit over my calves. And speaking of calves, I want to milk a cow and own a pot-bellied pig.

I want to learn to speak Italian, and while my Rosetta Stone DVD is a great learning tool I can still only say “L'uomo con il cappello nero siede sul cavallo marrone” which loosely translated means, ‘the man with the black hat sits on the brown horse”. And while I am quite proud of that accomplishment it will be rather hard to fit into a conversation. I want to start an online business selling something I invented and patented making me a millionaire which in-of-itself would take care of three listed items.  I want to see the pyramids in Eygpt (are there pyramids anywhere else now that I think about it?), Mount Rushmore and Graceland.   Tut, Roosevelt and Elvis....how's that for diversity?  I want to write a  column for a daily newspaper...maybe in Italian? 

There was a movie (aptly named, The Bucket List) with Jack Nicholson and that wonderful black actor I always think is Samuel L Jackson, but it isn’t….ummmm he was in Shawshank Redemption, Se7en, Driving Miss Daisy …..got it, Morgan Freeman. Two men, terminally ill who because of one’s wealth get to live out their bucket lists. Unfortunately I am not wealthy, but fortunately not terminal either. So although my list will be checked off a little slower I am determined to continue to check things off. So far, I got…..nothing.