the 70'sssssssssssssssssssssssssss

I stayed in tonight (like I really had somewhere to go…) and watched movies with my husband. Ok let me rephrase that….I watched the movies and he slept on the couch next to me. There is nothing as exciting as trying to watch a movie with whispered dialogue while there is a bear sniffling and snorting next to you. Thankfully with the DVR I pause or rewind and hear what I missed. Actually him falling asleep was probably a blessing since prior to him nodding off he felt the need to point out some actor I have never heard of, some little known (or cared about) fact about the movie location or asked too many questions that I just didn’t have answers to. For example, we started watching 2012 a movie about the end of the world. The opening credits had just finished rolling when he asked…”why is the world gonna end?” I told him I knew as much as he did at that point and told him to watch and see. The first few minutes explained that there was some solar flares bigger than usual. “what does that have to do with the earth?” “I don’t know, let’s watch and see,” I told him with a snarky tone and with that he was out like a light. He woke up about half way thru the movie which is non stop action with buildings falling, things blowing up, and planes crashing tried focusing his eyes and then asks if he smells popcorn. I said yes you do, paused the movie and made him a bag of popcorn. I un-paused the movie and before long he was talking to the dog telling him he can’t have any of his popcorn because his mother (the dog’s, not his) would get mad. I assume I am considered the dog mother. I paused the movie til he finished his conversation with the dog. Somewhere between the popcorn and the ending credits he was asleep again snoring and snorting. I put the TV as loud as I could bear and finished watching the movie. He woke up sporadically, asked why the TV was so loud and nodded off again. In the end the movie sucked anyway, I think.

He went and made himself a cup of tea, put in honey from his little honey bear dispenser that I so want to throw out, and came back to his spot on the couch. The conversation went like this…

“What are we watching?” he asks as Barry Manilow is singing his heart out on some PBS station.

“Guess” I answered, “ but if you fall asleep and snore I am gonna blast this so that the neighbors can hear.”

“No, I’m awake.” “What are we gonna watch?” PAUSE

“We’re watching it, Barry sings his 70’s hits.”

“He only had 70 hits? PAUSE

“70’sssssss…as in the decade. Can I hear this now please?” In my best shut-up-or-I’ll-kill-you voice.

“Yeah just don’t put it too loud, you’ll hurt the dog’s ears.” PAUSE

“Rich, go to bed.”

“No, for some reason I’m not tired”

“Yeah because you slept and snored through most of 2012.”

“Did I, sorry. What happened anyway?” PAUSE

“I’ll tell you tomorrow, I want to hear Barry.”

“Oh, sorry. Is this a telethon?” PAUSE

“What makes you think this is a telethon?”

“Just seems like it, maybe to raise money for Haiti. Go ahead, watch it, I’m going up anway.”

“OK goodnight.”

But he never left his spot on the couch and stayed quiet til Barry sang his last note. After Barry I started watching the end of some creepy movie about ghosts.

“What are we watching now?

“Is there something you’d rather watch?”

“No I’m going up”.

The movie was a bit too creepy with dead people coming back burnt and broken. Or so it seemed. Turns out there were no burnt broken ghosts, just some loon they let out of her straightjacket too soon. I thought it odd that my husband actually watched without commenting, conversing with the dog or making a snack request.  I looked over....he was asleep.

I put Saturday Night Live on. Some skit with Sigourney Weaver about the disco era (which wasn’t funny at all) was on when he woke up.

“This is still on?” He thought it was still the Barry Manilow show. “That looks like the Aliens girl, what’s her name?”
“You mean Sigourney Weaver?”
“Yeah, I didn’t know she sang with Manilow?”
“Oh yeah, she was his back up singer for years”

“Didn’t know that…ok I’m going up.”    (Where have I heard that before.)

He put his cup in the sink, put away his damn little honey bear dispenser, said good night to the dog, kissed me goodnight and began his ascent upstairs. Before he got to the top I heard him talking to himself….’I didn’t know she sang with Manilow’……….