Thursday, January 28, 2010

sit..stand..clap......repeat

If there is one thing you need to know about me is that I am a creature of habit. Every morning I have the same routine….I make my coffee and I sit down with my breakfast to read the paper. (ok I pee first but I thought that might be too much info) Granted, I am not reading the NY Times or the Wall Street Journal but the news is so disconcerting that it probably is a practice I should stop. The headline is always something with big bold letters a catchy phrase and exclamation points. Today’s is about Obama’s State of the Union speech. I watched some of it last night and had to turn it off. Just watching Nancy Pelosi stand and clap, sit, stand and clap, sit, stand…well you get the picture…made me want to throw something at the TV. And each time she stood the audience stood and clapped as well. Like mindless robotic morons. Other than this one guy that my son pointed out was reading the paper…or so it seemed. He didn’t stand and he didn’t clap. Maybe he was doing the Sudoku puzzle? I liked his audacity to snub Pelosi’s clapping, standing prompt but bristled at his disrespect when the President of the United States was speaking…even if I didn’t vote for him. I ventured further into the paper to find that PETA is afraid that the groundhog used in the celebratory Feb 2nd activities is being traumatized by the crowds and media lights. They want to replace it with a puppet. It’s a friggin’ groundhog people and he is probably being fed better than he ever would have eaten out of someone’s garbage can. According to the article he even has his own fan club. I vote for keeping the real little critter, after all he did us all a favor and bit Bloomberg last year. Gee, I wonder if PETA saw the Macy’s fur sale ad on page 16.

A few murders and a teacher charged with sexual misconduct preceeded the State of the Union address on pages 4 and 5. In addition to the highlights of his address was the highlights of her address…I mean her… dress. Michelle Obama wore an ugly over-priced designer dress, a purple silk and knit by Mizrahi, pearls and what looked like a Kate Gosselin haircut! People are living in their cars and she had to wear an $1800 dress??

The PC Richard HDTV Super Sale is still printed in Jets green…I suppose the art department wasn’t watching one of their HDTV’s when the Jets lost their bid at the Super Bowl. Or maybe it was in their honor.

Now as I said before some things in the paper are just plain upsetting and unfortunately for me (and anyone in my path basically) set the tone for the rest of my day. Page 12 has a Transportation Security guard asleep on a bench at LaGuardia Airport. The picture was taken by an irate traveler with his cell phone and forwarded on to Homeland Security. If it was up to me I would petition to re-name a street after this whistleblower. (if Sean Bell can have one, basically anyone can) At least he may have just saved hundred of lives. The part that bothered me the most wasn’t the picture of the snoozing guard, it was the fact that she wasn’t fired, she was put on desk duty. She may have been on a break they said, although I would think protocol would be to nap in the break room instead in front of tourists and terrorists. And then to add insult to injury a security expert (what ever the hell that is?!) was quoted as saying..”they are underpaid and overworked.” Are they kidding? Overworked? How hard is it to walk around an airport without falling asleep? Underpaid? Give the job to the next guy if you think you are being underpaid….I personally know a lot of people who would love that job…and stay awake.

A bright spot was the rescue of girl from the pile of rubble that is now Haiti. After 15 days being trapped without food or water she is pulled to safety. My prayers are with her.

I got to the horoscopes only to find my sign missing. No Sagittarius. Virgo…Libra…Scorpio…Nothing. Probably an oversight…maybe a misprint. Either way, not a good sign.

On to the obituaries….or as the Daily News so aptly puts it…Death Notices. Does that mean someone noticed these people were dead? Seems so cold. Zelda Rubinstein died. She was the munchkin-like character actor from Poltergeist…she was the psychic called in to rid the house of demons. Tall feat for someone who only stood 4 foot 3. On the same page as the Death Notices was an article that upset me more than the sleeping airport security guard. A man was convicted of murder and will serve life in prison for watching his girlfriend beat her 3 year old child to death. The girlfriend only got 20 years. She pleaded guilty to the lesser charge of manslaughter. Did I miss something? Plea bargaining in the death of a child should not be allowed.
I made it to the sports section a little battered but still intact. But then I read that Johnny Damon officially is out. No Yankee pinstripes for the once caveman looking Red Sock. Whether it was his ego holding out for a better contract or his agent’s game playing, the Yankees opted to use their (according to some) unlimited cash flow to sign Randy Winn, who other than his catchy name means nothing to me. In fact I have never heard of him but read he was with the Giants. Johnny, I will miss you even if Brian Cashman will not. I am not a huge football fan, other than on Super Bowl Sunday and that is mostly for the little frozen hor devours and hot wings. There are only 20 days left before the Yankee pitchers and catchers report for spring training. I can feel the air warming already.

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