thanks...

Thank you Gov. Paterson for shaving. Being blind I suppose you couldn’t see how hideous you looked, kinda like Stevie Wonder and his braids, but I would have thought your friends and family would have at least whispered in your ear…“lose the hair, Braille boy.”

Thank you to the NY Yankees for clinching the AL East and a big NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH to the Boston Red Sox and to the Daily News for putting Derek Jeter on the cover of the paper after the win.

Thank you to CBS for airing the 8th annual Tunnel to the Towers Run last Sunday morning. As I watched from my couch (hey I was sick) I never felt more proud to be a New Yorker and more importantly, an American.

Thank you Dr. Oz for putting on a shirt and tie for your new Oprah fueled TV show. I am sick of seeing you in scrubs, we already know you are a doctor!

Thank you to the Hershey’s company for making dark chocolate kisses. I get to fool myself into thinking they are ok indulge on since they have those heart healthy flavinoids.

Thank you to the powers that be, that there are no explicit videos of David Letterman’s sex romps. (so far) I don’t think I could watch that gap toothed old man having sex with anyone let alone women half his age.

Thank you to Disney & Pixar for giving us Toy Story 1 & 2 in the first place, but to revamp them into 3D is a gift.

Thank you to the creators of Suduko….It has single-handedly kept my mind from turning into the mush I know it wants to.

Thank you to Starbucks for introducing Via Ready Brew, an instant coffee packet for us instant-gratification junkies. Tastes like crap but ready in an instant and it’s Starbucks…what more could a coffee snob ask for?

Thank you to Continental airlines for not cutting out the in flight snacks. For the price of an airline ticket I would like something more than a seat two sizes too small and a carry-on restriction.

Thank you Whoopie Goldberg for finally showing your true colors. Polanski not a rapist? The girl was 13! I think your dreads have been in too long….

Thank you Rio for winning the right to host the 2012 Olympics. Of course we could use the revenue, but we have enough foreigners here already, athletes or not.

And a very sarcastic Gee Thanks…. to the Daily News and other media outlets for showing the world exactly where the surveillance cameras are and aren’t in Manhattan. So if I was a terrorist I would know exactly where to smile as I lit the fuse.