Ever since I was a kid I hated Mondays. It meant returning to the doldrums of school or as I got older, work. It meant that my weekend had ended. It was over. Done. Such finality always bothered me but then 24’s Jack Bauer came along and Monday suddenly became the best day of the week. And this Monday it ended. It was over. Done.
Jack Bauer and his C.T.U. counterparts came along at a time when we needed a hero. Just months earlier our country had been attacked in the worst possible way, with civilian casualties. We needed someone who could run four blocks, scale a fence, climb a fire escape, blow off a door, run down three flights of stairs, bust through a steel gate and secure a warehouse without breathing heavy as he proclaims it to be “all clear.“ We needed someone who could snap the neck of a terrorist, torture an answer out of his brother or suture his own stab wounds all without even needing to use the bathroom. In eight seasons Jack didn’t eat or sleep for that matter. He said ’copy that’ more times than a Xerox salesman and rarely got laid. Sad part is, when he did the woman is usually dead before the ticking of the countdown clock begins. His female and less violent counterpart is Chloe Obrien. She can pull up a surveillance feed, move a spy satellite into position and track a cab in New York City (no easy feat) in less time than it takes her to put on lip gloss. She got married somewhere around season 6 but alas, him and the son she had all but disappear without even a mention in subsequent seasons. Keep in mind each season is actually only 24 hours otherwise her babysitting costs would have been astronomical.
If you have never watched the show (ahhhhhhhhhh!) I will get you up to date from the first season to it's finale so that when the movie comes out you will be ready. (or can at least hold your own around the water cooler) I will start you off slowly……….
Season One - Bad guys kidnap his wife and daughter, a senator and presidential candidate is threatened, the first of many Counter Terrorist Unit (CTU) moles is exposed, and Teri Bauer, Jack‘s wife is killed………….Jack gets angry!
Season Two - Bad guys plan nuclear attack on L.A., the first of many attacks on CTU headquarters, Middle Eastern countries blamed for nuclear threat, David Palmer become President (African American and pre-Obama)………….Jack gets even!
Season Three - Bad guys plan another attack on L.A. this time viral, Jack‘s heroin addiction is uncovered, Jack’s daughter dating CTU agent ……..Jack gets clean!
Season Four - Bad guys derail a train, a Turkish family has something to do with the missing US nuclear launch codes, Jack dismissed from CTU and dating the Secretary of Defense‘s daughter (uh oh, she‘s a goner), slimy President Logan makes his first appearance……………Jack evades capture!
Season Five - Bad guys kill ex-President Palmer (and Allstate spokesman), Jack still on the run under assumed name, Russian terrorists threatening US with nerve gas, President Logan admits involvement in assassination of President Palmer…Jack captured by the Chinese. (don't ask)
Season Six - Bad guys blow up bus in suicide bombing, CTU gets Jack released from Chinese prison after 20 months of torture but somehow stronger than ever, President Palmer’s dumb brother is now president and CTU has another mole….Jack questions his government. (do you blame him?)
Season Seven - Bad guys in the Senate question Jack about his torture tactics, meets Renee Walker who becomes his love interest in final season (bad move, Renee), President Alison Taylor (Hillary-ish) pulling help promised to Senagal, FBI moles uncovered, White House under seige (and they thought the Salahi’s getting into a party uninvited was a problem)…...Jack dying from biological exposure.
Season Eight - Bad guys threaten NYC with a dirty bomb, miracle cure saves Jack, Middle Eastern President Hassan killed by Russians, Agent Renee Walker called back into service but sleeps with Jack and dies before even getting out of bed, CTU has yet another mole, President Taylor asks crazy disgraced ex-President Logan for help with peace treaty gone terribly wrong, Jack makes Chloe shoot him so as not to implicate herself in his escape….. Jack must go on the run, again! Forever. (or at least until the movie comes out)
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