bird seed

So here it is Labor Day Weekend, a weekend of half-off sales and traffic jams, barbeques and traffic jams, telethons and traffic jams. Did I mention traffic jams? Every Labor Day for the last 25 years we have gone to the Catskills for the weekend. When the kids were little we tolerated the traffic jams on Friday afternoon and endured worse on Monday. Then the kids got older and smarter and now they stay home on Labor Day, hit all the sales, barbeque and wait for the tote board to change for Jerry kid’s. Predictably my husband and I headed for the mountains.

The traffic wasn’t bad. Wasn’t good, just wasn’t as bad as I had expected. Contrary to the norm, my husband and I spoke for a good portion of the three hours drive. At one point I casually mentioned how if I was to kill him I could see many places where I could dump his body and it would never be found. I told him that I never understood these morons who murdered their spouse then got caught because they didn’t bury the body deep enough. He offered this: If you are going to kill me and dump me on the side of Route 17 make sure you bring bird seed with you. Needless to say, I asked why….which began a 15 minute speech about how the birds, especially the larger ones, would be attracted by the seed, find his body and basically eat most of the evidence. Him! What is wrong with this man?? Or should I be worried that he put this much time into thinking this scenario through. Hmmm.

The trees hadn’t started to change colors yet, but the scenery still amazes me. Towering cliffs of stone, embankments of rock and I often think, who first decided to put a road straight through the mountain. Who said, ok guys here’s a good place to put an interstate, blast away! Then we can dot the highway with signs that say that rocks may fall on your car, beware! And speaking of signs along the highway, I have never seen so much to read as I barrel along at 85...um 65...Yield, Speed Zone, Work Zone, Fines Doubled, Merge, No Merge, Right Lane Ends, Left Lane Ends, Road Narrows, Road Widens, Road Work, Rte 17, Rte 6, Future Rte 86, No Shoulder, Wildlife Crossing, Slippery Bridge and it goes on and on. Why can’t they just put one sign up….follow the white lines…drive careful….you’ll get there!

As we got further onto the mountain we hit the world famous Wurtsboro hills. This is where one of two things happen. Your car either slows down to 12mph, which is 3mph slower than the 18 wheeler on your rear bumper, or the smurf in the mini cooper flies past you giving you a dirty look and the finger for not getting in the right lane sooner. Either way you just grin and bear the 7 miles of hills and vow to look for a way to avoid them in the future. That is until you see the mini cooper pulled over on the side of the road flanked by two sheriffs cars, and then you laugh and laugh and continue reading the signs. Speed limit 65

I make no bones about it, I am incredibly crabby without my grandkids. The pool was too cold, the hot tub too hot, the drinks were too weak, the coffee not hot. There were too many bugs and not enough deer, casino no luck, we ran out of beer. The diner was greasy, the flea market had junk and the shows at the night club, well they all stunk.

We came home early so that I could spend Labor Day barbequing with my grandchildren, watch Jerry sing, strained and off key to his kids, buy just about anything because it is half-off....and maybe pick up some bird seed.