.....junk

It’s was a lazy Sunday after a hectic Saturday so I decided to stay home in the air conditioning and clean one of my junk rooms. Yes, I said rooms. Most people have junk drawers, and don’t get me wrong I have those as well, but I have two junk rooms. Three if you count my bedroom which has become a catch all for anything we don’t know where else to put. I have a 17 foot Spongebob blow up that I bought on Ebay a few years ago at my husband‘s request. (don’t ask…in fact if I ever mention my husband in any blog, don’t ask, because I simply wont have an answer, he is a mystery to me…kinda like explaining a black hole) Anyway he pumped it up, put it on the lawn for Easter, repaired a hole, pumped it up, repaired another hole, pumped it up, repaired a tear, pumped it up, repaired a gash and then back into the box it went and has resided in the corner of my bedroom ever since. Too big to fit in the attic (the original junk room) and too big to go under the bed. Besides even if it did fit, Spongebob would scare the hell out of my dust bunnies. So I threw a tablecloth on it, stuck a vase on top of that and there it sits hidden under $22 of JCPenney clearance items. I recently read an article in the newspaper about stolen Spongebob blow ups that had been part of a McDonald’s campaign across the country and I often wonder if it is actually contraband that I am concealing. (I can picture SWAT teams bursting through my front door yelling…hands in the air, where is Spongebob?) The room I chose to clean today was once my daughters’ bedroom. It is currently called the playroom because that is where we tell my grandchildren to go when the adults need a few minutes to talk without refereeing one issue or another. The room is crowded with stuffed animals, desks and blackboards and even a stage that I had my son build for them when I was convinced they were going to star on Broadway. But hidden amongst the colorful playthings is a lot of junk. There is the TV/VCR combo that hasn’t worked since the conversion to digital and any VCR tapes we had have long since been upgraded to DVD’s. There is a futon that has saved many a sleepless night when the snoring in Spongebob’s room just got too much for me. There is also my cow collection. Cows…dressed like people, like famous artwork, like famous landmarks, like other animals…many many cows. Birthday cows, anniversary cows, you are my best friend cows, I love you cows and my favorite cows of all….the wizard of oz cows. Lions and tigers and cows…oh my! There is a drawer with way too many picture frames that at some time adorned another part of the house and when the décor changed the frames did as well and they were banished to the island of misfit frames. In the room is a closet. It has no door. It was one of those sliding wooden doors that fell off the track one too many times, and always on my foot. So off they came, track and all in one mighty angry swoop. Instead I hung a shower curtain, rod and all. Works great and now the kids can play Psycho if they want to. The closet is full of paints and brushes and styrofoam balls, and looms and loops (like the kind you make potholders out of in the dayroom after they commit you). There are sticks and jewels and gloss and glitter. It is a drag queen’s paradise. Or a science fair project in the making. I boxed and bagged and labeled and marked everything that simply didn’t belong in that room and moved it to the hallway. There it sits all organized and homeless. I will find a place for it all, just not in the playroom.