Tuesday, August 4, 2009

tick..tick...tick

I went into a Dunkin' Donuts to get a freezy, frosty, hurt-my-teeth iced coffee because it is a ‘I should be laying poolside instead of shopping” kinda day. The air conditioning wasn’t working properly (figures), but with only two people ahead of me, not bad. Four people behind the counter, even better. Twenty seven minutes later I am still waiting to pay. Do you know how long 27 minutes is when you are sweating like a pig. (nice visual, huh?) Ok go, I’ll wait….one one hundred, two one hundred, three one hundred…get the picture? Why the wait?….the girl first in line was Russian. (I’ll call her Svetlana) She spoke…..well,...Russian. The girls behind the register spoke….well,...not English. Svetlana did the next best thing, she pointed at what she wanted. Pointing has become the universal language these days. The confused girls behind the counter were becoming agitated as was the 400 pound black man behind me. Pointing wasn’t working so we all tried to translate, including my hefty friend. We figured out that she wanted a cold drink because she made a shivering motion. (I think she has done this before!) Ok cold beverage, but there are several. They pointed to all the products on the sign until Svetlana finally grew a large smile and said ‘ ya, ya’….but when the counter girl asked her what size, hefty man simply yelled out to ‘give her a large god damn it‘, which they did. She paid, she left. 14 minutes down. The girl directly in front of me was an English speaking clueless baffoon who simply forgot what she came in for. She hemmed and hawed and thought and changed her mind before I loudly interjected that just perhaps, and only a suggestion mind you….CAN SOMEONE ELSE PLEASE HELP THE REST OF US while Babette collects her wits and places her order. I am greeted by a beautiful Rihanna-esque black woman who spoke amazingly well. If I lived in the Bahamas I am sure I would have understood her, but alas I just had to assume she asked what I wanted. I ordered a large iced coffee with just milk. She said ‘yes’ and continued to stare at me. I took that as a sign that she wanted to know what else I wanted so I said ‘that’s it‘. She continued to stare for another few seconds and then rang up my order and I paid. She then turned to hefty man who at this point was babbling and sweating and cursing and trying not to kill Babette who stood before him still trying to remember who wanted what. (just a note, she left with one small coffee and a donut…taxing order!) When I pointed out that she hadn’t given me my coffee, she smiled. Yup, a big beautiful all 92 teeth showing smile. Now hefty man and I had developed a rapport of sorts….he was my back up, my posse, my homie…ok he was just the guy behind me. But he did tell Rihanna in his best ‘I could snap you like a twig’ voice to give me my coffee. She, unintimidated, smiled back and left the counter where we both stood mumbling. Rihanna had left and a man with, (I kid you not) an eye patch asked my friend what he wanted. He gave his order, then turned to me and said that he should make Rihanna walk the plank. It was the biggest laugh I have had in a long time. Between that and the best damn iced coffee in town it was worth the wait!

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