nails

I love my manicurist. Her name is Lynn. Well it’s actually Linh Something-Something with far too many V’s and H’s for me to pronounce it correctly. I have been going to her for about 10 years and she still calls me “lady that make me go quick-quick.” I have no patience for the whole file and buff process and I definitely have no patience to sit and watch nail polish dry. Linh, like a lot of the other manicurists wear masked to protect themselves from the dust that all that filing and buffing produces. It is a little intimidating to walk into the salon with an defenseless face as the people that know most about the products they are using are covered from chin to eyes. But unfortunately, nice nails will always prevail over a lung full of toxic residue. Linh has an extremely thick accent. I think she is Korean. Maybe Vietnamese. Could even be from Okinawa. The only thing I know about Okinawa is that Daniel-son went there with Mr. Miyagi to help defend his honor against a bigger, meaner karate man. Between the arduous accent and the life saving mask it is close to impossible to understand what Linh is saying during our brief encounters.
Me - Hello Lynn…
Her - hello quick-quick…
Me -How are you?….
Her - unintelligible answer through the mask…
Me - Good, good! (nodding and smiling) How is your son?
Her - unintelligible Okinawian accent
Me - Oh, that’s good. (bigger nod, broader smile)
Our conversation would be non-existent if it weren’t for the old nod and smile routine. She could have told me her dog was hit by a train and there I was nodding and smiling. But hey, take off the mask and speak English if you want me to be sincere. Then again she could have been saying that my double chin makes me look like a blow fish…I’d have no idea at all.

I went to get my nails done on Saturday, a particularly busy day in the nail world especially in the summertime when normally skeevy feet are exposed in sandals. Each little piglet must be primped and painted for display. I wisely called ahead for an appointment.

Me - Lynn please

Them - linh....Linh....LINH....L I N H !

Her - linh here

Me - Hi Lynn, I need an appointment for this afternoon please

Her - who?

Me- It's quick quick

Her - ahhh quick quick, no come 3

Me- ok not 3, then when

Her - no come 3 come 4

Me - Ok so 4 oclock?

Her - no come 3

Me - ok 4 it is

Her - maybe 3 come better

Me - Ok 3 then

Her - see you at 4

Having no idea what time my appointment was I arrived at 3, where upon seeing me she flew into a full blown Okinawian tirade, complete with hand gestures and I am sure the crane kick. I had come when she had not only someone's skeevy little piggies in her hands, but a ten pack of tiny toes waiting to be primped. I told her I would be back at 4 and backed out of the salon like Daniel-son limped off the mat.